Illustrative sample β not a real student submission.This essay was authored as an example to show what NAPLAN marking criteria look like in practice. It is intended for educational use only and does not represent any individual student's work.
Year 7 Narrative Sample: The Last Lighthouse
Prompt:
Write a story that includes the following: a lighthouse, a secret, and a moment of decision.
The Marked Essay
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The lighthouse had not been lit for forty years. Its white paint had blistered and peeled into grey scales, and the iron railing around the lantern room had oxidised to the colour of dried blood. Every child in Kettering Cove knew the lighthouse was where you did not go β but Jonas Marsh, thirteen years old and burning with a restlessness he could not name, went anyway.
He pushed through the rotting door and climbed the spiral staircase one careful step at a time, testing each tread before committing his weight. The air smelled of salt and something older: rust, perhaps, or the slow exhalation of a building that had given up. At the top, the lantern room was flooded with afternoon light, and Jonas found himself staring at a logbook chained to the iron railing.
The last entry was dated the night of the Silver Lady disaster, 14 June 1983. Jonas read it twice, then a third time, feeling the sentence rearrange itself in his mind like a kaleidoscope clicking into focus. The lighthouse keeper β his great-grandfather, he now understood β had seen the storm coming hours before it hit. He had chosen not to light the lamp. Seventeen lives, the logbook said. Seventeen.
Jonas stood at the top of the lighthouse for a long time. He could see the whole cove from here: the fishing boats, the memorial on the headland, his own house with its yellow kitchen light already glowing against the dusk. He held the logbook tightly. He thought about his grandfather's silver frames on the mantelpiece β the photographs Jonas had grown up calling "brave".
He could take the logbook home. He could throw it into the sea. He could pretend he had never come.
Instead, Jonas walked back down the stairs, the logbook tucked under his arm, and kept walking β past the cove, past the memorial, all the way to the police station on Tanner Street. He did not know what would happen next. He only knew that the truth, however heavy, was lighter than what he had been carrying home all these years without knowing it.
Scores are for this illustrative sample only β not a real student result.
Overall Performance Note
This illustrative Year 7 response is a top-band essay across all criteria. The narrative is original, carefully structured, and demonstrably controlled. The language conventions are near-flawless. This is the kind of response that sits at the very top of the marking criteria.
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